What am I worth?

I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. It is the first day of my last week, since I gave my resignation on Friday. Only one of my bosses was there to give it to (boss 1). I will be in the office tomorrow with the other one for a few hours before the other one arrives (boss 2). I know I am going to get grilled and I wonder if they will offer me something to stay, and I wonder what I will say.

Last week, before the phone call, I asked if there had been an increase in online sales compared to the same time last year. Boss 2 tells me there has been an increase, but once my wages and a few other things are deducted, it’s not really much of an increase, and that it would be unfair to do a comparison by month, and that we should wait until after January and then see where the bottom line is at then, we will make decisions on how to move forward.

Now I like to think I am fairly intelligent, so I told all of this to hubby when I got home, and he had the exact same thoughts as I did. My job is not secure. He has basically told me, that if after one year of work, if the increase in sales is not good enough that I may need to look for another job.

Normally this would be totally fine with me, as all employees should have KPIs. However, none have ever been set for me. I have attempted to ask for them several times and flat out asked for meetings to set them, all to no avail. I am a goal oriented person, so I like to aim for things. Currently my only aim is to complete work in high quantity with medium to high quality so that I don’t get The Look.

Again, at times The Look can be warranted, but only if a staff member has been given sufficient time to complete the task without being interrupted, having priorities realigned or being asked to do a “quick” job that ends up taking the majority of the day.

I know that this sounds like I am having a good old whine, but I’m not. I love where I currently work. It’s challenging, a learning experience, fun, frustrating, quick, trendy, and always new. I will value the time I spent with these people highly, and I know I will look back at experiences I had with them to view my professional and personal growth. But that doesn’t account for the experience I fear I am going to have tomorrow.

The reasons I started looking for a new job a few months ago were
1. Full time work – currently I am paid casually, this means no sick leave, no annual live etc.
2. I am being under paid for my industry and the type of work that I do – if my salary were to be worked our for a 38hr week, 52 weeks a year, I can honestly say that I have never been paid less for my type of work. I understand that small businesses can’t afford to pay the big bucks, but at the same time, I can’t afford to be paid less than the minimum. I was recently told that any of their staff members can help a customer, but only I can do the web stuff. This lets me know that they know what I do is specialised. But somehow not worth the money.
3. Work requirements – I am currently web developer, web content admin, edm specialist, social media manager, graphic designer, product designer, product description writer, photographer, QA, IT help and soundboard. I want to work somewhere where I can be perfect at one or two things, not okay at 50. I am a perfectionist, and I hate just doing a mediocre job because I simply did not have the time to do a great job.
4. Benefits – hubby and I want to start a family in about a year or so. We want to travel and do a minor extension to our house. All of this requires both of us being permanent employees (remortgage), annual leave (travel together) and maternity leave (perks of permanency). None of which I currently have and they know I want and need.
5. I want to get away from small business and go back to the corporate world. Go back to things being planned out, aligning with a business strategy, with a team of people who are there to help and support you because you are all working towards the same thing. Rather than working directly with the business owner, who doesn’t have a digital strategy, who won’t sit down and work one out with you, and who micromanages your work because their business is everything to them, and letting go is hard because it is their livelihood. I know that if it was my business, I would have a hard time letting go, so I don’t blame them for this, but because I understand this, that doesn’t stop it from being a reason for why I started looking for another job.

There are so many more reasons, nit picky ones, that don’t really matter but added on top of everything else, they just complete the cake. They are the cherries, the ganache, the salted caramel icing.

And I know that tomorrow, when I am in the office with boss 2, they are going to ask and say things, and I am only going to be able to give polite answers because 1. You never burn a bridge and 2. If I told them my real answers, they would think I was leaving out of pique, and not take me seriously. Again, I love where I work and I love the people. Every day brings something new and fun. But at the same time I believe that my skills and experience are being taken advantage of by this small business, and I do not believe that is fair, and I do believe that I am worth more.

I guess a lot of this boils down to how much I am getting paid. If I was getting paid to just do my advertised job description, then I wouldn’t be complaining because I accepted that work for that pay. But I seem to have been given all these extra bits and pieces to do which turn into mini projects, which change my job description, which I have had to learn specifically for this little project, with nothing but a “thank you” and a “do it again next week”. So if the pay matched the work, I think I would have been okay, but it’s my biggest issue with my situation, and it doesn’t help when family and friends agree.

I am hoping that tomorrow is easy, but I do not expect it to be, at all. But here’s to hoping!

Always & Forever.
Mrs T xx

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