Wedding Anniversary

Today is our 2nd anniversary. I seriously can’t believe that it has been 2 years since we said I Do! It only feels like yesterday that I was arguing with my mother about the type of wedding cake I wanted or what colour bridesmaid dresses we would have.

But then I think back about all the things that we have done since then and think, oh yeah, it really must have been two years ago!

Since getting married:

  • Husband changed jobs (into a better one!)
  • I have freelanced and gone back to being an employee
  • I convinced hubby to let me keep a kitten I was fostering
  • We rebuilt our deck and rendered our house
  • We were adventurous (and that’s all I am saying about that!)
  • We made new friends
  •  Learnt how to make pies
  • Watched a lot of our friends have babies
  • Watched even more get married
  • Went on a 3 week holiday around the United States
  • Drove a Lamborghini
  • Went snorkeling in Haiti
  • Went zip-lining in Jamaica
  • Got pregnant and found out we are having a boy!!
  • And we have learnt that we need to be happy and not just always making other people happy.

That last one was the hardest for me. With me just trying to make myself happy first, as long as it hasn’t effected (affected?)other people in a negative way. It has caused drama within my family because they feel that I have abandoned them, rather than seeing it as me spreading my wings and living my own life.

Hubby coped much better with this than I did, as he was already pretty independent of his family due to how he was brought up. He taught me how to put me first. Just let in an airplane, when the oxygen masks fall down, you need to put your own on first before you can help others.

I guess I just need to find a balance. ‘Suffer’ through a few family functions and then spend the rest of my time doing what I want, but I don’t have much of that time left, not with the baby due late June!!

I am so grateful for the past 2 years, and for the 5 years of dating before that, and the 2 years of friendship before that. My husband is my best friend, my lover and my rock. I can’t wait to celebrate the rest of our lives together.

Always & Forever,

Mrs T xxx

Good is not normal

The other day I was listening to someone give another person advice about good and bad moments in that persons life. This lead me to thinking about times in my life that I had deemed ‘good’ or ‘bad’. But what about just normal? When is life just normal?

According to Google, ‘normal’ as an adjective means:

1. conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
“it’s quite normal for puppies to bolt their food”

Usual, typical, everyday, regular. These are all words that make a person feel a little less than enthusiastic or even hum-drum about themselves. But really, these words don’t mean that a persons life is boring or typical. What it means is that, at this particular point in a persons life, everything has been going along consistently without any bumps or disruptions. Again, this still doesn’t sound fun.

But think of it this way: If a person is currently running at the top of their game at work, in their love life, socially, whatever, and it has been this way for a while, sooner or later it will become normal. So when they go home at the end of the day, and they are talking to their partner or their weekly phone call to their mother, and get asked “How was your day?” and they say “It was fine, normal, just like yesterday.”, it isn’t that they are saying their day was boring, good, or bad. They are saying that it was just a typical day, but not actually rating it on a scale of 1 to 10.

It does work in the opposite direction as well. If someone has been living through a time in their life which has been difficult, if this goes for a prolonged period of time, it can just become ‘normal’. In either case, difficult or top of your game, this is a rut. You are doing the same thing over and over again.

So, lets assume that you are currently living a ‘normal’ life, regardless of whether you are at the top of your game or not. You are getting out of bed, eating breakfast, dealing with your day, and going to bed at the end of the day as best you can. Normal. Typical. Standard. Then a MOMENT happens. It doesn’t matter whether or not it is good or bad. What it does is upset the status quo. It is out of routine and will break the ‘normal’. Whether or not this is just a bump that effects the ‘normal’ temporarily or something that is completely life changing, it was just a moment in time.

Then I started thinking about the over-the-top reactions people can have to moments that others might perceive as minor. If I am currently living at the top of my game, my normal is GREAT, and then I get critiqued at work, creating a bad moment, is this moment exponentially worse for me because the gap between GREAT and bad is so big? Would being critiqued at work or by a family member or friend, be as bad if that was a state that had become my normal? But I think that is a question got another day.

All this existential thinking and attempting to write it down has really helped me to appreciate all the great authors and their eloquent vocabularies.

To summarise:

  • Life is normal
  • Moments happen during life that can upset your normal
  • They are called a moment because they are temporary, you do not need to get stuck inside of them. Getting stuck in them is your choice.
  • You can turn a moment into normal.
  • Sometimes you need to make your own moments.

 

Always & Forever

Mrs T xxx