Resumes – Save me now

I hate writing my resume. There is a fine line that must be toed when writing your resume, between sounding arrogant and egotistical compared to underselling yourself. I literally procrastinate until the last second before I have to hand in a resume before I will write it.

My reasons are:

  1. Having to go through and justify all my achievements at my current or previous job to get the next. It makes me uncomfortable. I think my achievements are really great! But will the person reading them think the same thing?
  2. How much detail do I put it? Do I just say I managed the SEO Campaigns for the business, or do I go into detail and talk about Social Media Advertising, CPC rates management, demographic studies etc. Are the people reading my resume going to know what is involved and how much time is spent on those activities or do I need to break it down for them?
  3. Should I pad my resume? Should I make it seem a little larger than I really am? If I don’t, will that put me behind the eight ball for those who did?
  4. Formatting. Microsoft Word comes with a bunch of different formats, which one do you use? A standard resume or a curriculum vitae? Should your cover letter and resume be a single document or should they be two separate documents?
  5. References. I am still in contact with my references and we have catch ups a few times a year. However they are from jobs that were several years ago. Should I be updating these? Or keep them because they are strong references?

Seriously, I hate resume writing. When I see a job, sometimes I think the universe made the job just for me, and I still struggle to put my career, skills, experience, education and references on a page. Interviews I can do, but actually documenting the last 5 – 10 years of my career life on a page – no thanks!

Always & Forever,

Mrs T xx

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Baby Making

Firstly, I would like to, not apologise, but acknowledge the fact that I have been very quiet on my blog for a long time. Almost a full year without a proper post. Yeah, there was that one cryptic post a few months ago, but I lost my nerve and my drive to blog.

However, there is a new journey that we (Hubby and I) are embarking on. Baby making. Our families have been asking us since the day that we got married (a year and a half ago), so when are you having a baby? Isn’t that the first question that a newly married, career driven woman wants to hear? No. But I would just smile and say, “Maybe in a few years, we aren’t ready right now.”

The questions backed off for a while. And then my cousin announced she was pregnant. Awesome! I must admit, I was the tiniest bit jealous, but I was really happy for her. I always thought I would be first, but I knew realistically that they were in a better place in their lives then we were, financially, career, support etc. This is roughly when my hormones went into overdrive. It didn’t help that over the next 6 months, almost every single one of my friends would announce a pregnancy.

Then I got a fabulous job, and that’s when this blog started. At the time, I was suffering quite badly from my anxiety, because one of the women I was working with was bullying and undermining me in the work place. I loved my job so, I sorted that situation out over several months. I moved teams internally and then she only had her own manager to bully. Needless to say the manager wasn’t having any of that, and shortly after she left the company.

Ever since about February, almost a year after we got married, my hormones have all but disappeared. This time last year, I would hold a baby and almost refuse to give it back to the mother. The smell, the soft skin, the noises (especially when they slept!) were pulling on the strings of my aching womb. But then one day it was just gone. I have spoken to some people about this, mostly work colleagues and friends, and “we” all believe it is because I am work-satisfied. My career is going very well, I love my job, I have great friends there, everything is awesome.

However, the pressure from the family is back, especially since my cousin actually had her baby, and my parents have gotten to hold her and see videos. Every time I see them, my Dad says things to me like “So when are you guys going to have a baby”, “I’m 54 I’m ready to be a grandparent”, “Your mother wants to know, should she make summer or winter babies clothes?” and my favourite “You’re being selfish, just get it done.” Yep, because all those things are really inspiring me to jump into the sack with my husband.

So we started using the holiday that we had booked in September as our excuse, saying that we would probably start trying then. Yeah I know, we shouldn’t have said the “start trying” bit, but I honestly thought that by the time the holiday came round, we would be ready! A week out, and we were talking about putting it off until I was 30!

But while we were on our holiday we started thinking about if we wait, all of our friends children will be years older than ours, and they won’t play in the same sports teams, or be in the same grade. So we thought, why not? We do want 5-6 year olds when we are 35, for that to happen we have to make babies now.

I haven’t been on contraception for a while, over a year. It made me moody, which affected my anxiety. I honestly thought that because we have been having unprotected sex, using the “trusty” pullout method (haha) that it would take us a while because we had never had an accident. Little did I know.

I haven’t even completed a whole cycle yet (due tomorrow), and I have a test that says I am pregnant. We had 6 baby making sessions this month, due to me being away for work for 2 of the weeks. It was either the second or third time, if the test and due date calculators can be trusted. Seriously!

The line is not crystal clear on the test, but it definitely is there. We don’t trust it just yet, because of it’s faintness, so aren’t exactly celebrating. If Aunt Flow (that’s what all the “trying to conceive – TOC” apps and websites call your period) doesn’t arrive tomorrow or Tuesday, then Wednesday morning you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be taking another test.

I am super nervous and excited about this. I do want a baby (2 or 3 actually), a little person that is a piece of Mr T and me. We already have names picked out, have had them for years. Half of me is trying to think of awesome announcement ideas, and the other half is saying “What the hell have you done, what about your career?!?!” Not sure which side is winning yet, but I will let you know.

This blog is about me and my life. I will blog about the current goings on in my life, and I have a feeling that it is going to have a distinct “mummy” feel for a while. Hope you don’t mind!

Always & Forever,

Mrs T xx

Back again

So, I have been quiet for quite a while, several months in fact. Work, uni, started freelancing again, friends, family, and a new fun activity, which I will talk about in a later post.

I am just re-initiating myself into a blogging routine at this stage, but my life, especially work, is pretty different to when I first started this blog. And I can’t wait to write all about it.

But, for now that is all I will say. So YAY to me for getting back into blogging.

Have a nice night!

Always & Forever,

Mrs T xxx

Bah Humbug

Christmas is my least favourite time of year. If it was actually about seeing your family and celebrating a special time of year, then I think I would actually like it. But for me, it’s all about my family guilting us into driving around to see them.

This year our budget is tight. We don’t have the money to purchase a present for every single family member. So we were hoping to talk to our parents and say, let’s not do presents this year. However, that is not turning out to be the case. The topic has been broached with one of the more pricklier parents, and they have responded that they have already purchased one of our presents (this I do not believe). They have then gone on to say, well if you aren’t going to worry about presents, let’s just not do Christmas at all then.

When did Christmas become just about receiving presents? And when did it become an obligation? I mean, why can’t our parents come visit us throughout the year, if they want to see us more often. We make e effort to drive out to all of them once a month. We have three sets we need to see, and they all live in different directions. So we do our best.

We get complaints that they don’t see us very often. We have full time jobs and are renovating a house. They are all semi retired, and I can count the number of times each of them has come to visit on one hand, and we have been here for nearly two years.

I guess what I am getting at is that, it goes both ways. They can come visit us, instead of summoning us. And especially summoning us with guilt at Christmas. It’s ridiculous. Christmas for me has turned into the dreaded drive around, spending more time in the car travelling between family members because they all want to see us on Christmas Day, then we actually spend with family.

I want Christmas to go back to being the joyful time of year that it is meant to be. I just don’t see that happening anytime soon. Maybe when we have kids it might change. And all I can hope is that in 25 years time, when they are living out of home, I don’t make them feel guilty at Christmas time and that I haven’t become an obligation to them.

Always & Forever
Mrs T xx

Team player or freeloader? Which are you?

Recently, hubby and I joined an Oz Tag team. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is rugby league football, but instead of tackling the opposite team, each player has fluoro coloured straps hanging from their hips that you need to rip off. Once ripped off, they are considered “tackled”. Still not sure? Google it 🙂

We were in round 3 last week. Because it is a mixed team, to keep it fair, of the 8 players on the field, there must be a 50/50 split men and women. That means we need 4 girls on the field. We have 5 girls in our team, one sub and 4 on the field. This means we shouldn’t have to play short if someone can’t make it. Unless of course you have a bad sportswoman on your team.

Last week, we turned up to play, and one of the girls was in a bad mood. We barely know her, but the rest of our team are all friends. One of the other girls wasn’t able to make it this week, so we are down to four girls, ie. no sub. This is pretty much my worst nightmare. I am not fit, at all, and I am no good with running and throwing and catching. No sub, means no break, which means I have to play the WHOLE game! I have been going walking everyday with my dogs in an effort to get fit and also to start my day with an endorphin hit and lower stress levels, and I am so glad that I did. Because of this “bad mood”, she did not play. This meant we only had 3 girls!

Now I haven’t played a lot of team sport in my lifetime, but I do understand the concept of a team. I understand that you do not let your team down. Even if you are sick or injured you still turn up to your game to cheer on your team. Morale. Sportsmanship. Honor. This girl on my team, chose not to play because of her bad mood. She forced the other 3 ladies on her team to push it as hard as we could for a full 40 minute game.

I can’t even find the right words. I was so angry at the lack of any sign of being a part of the team. She showed no support. She did not care that she was letting the team down. No one told us what the issue was, all we were told was “she gets like that sometimes. Don’t worry about it.” Well I am sorry, but I am going to worry about it! It cost $150 each, to play a season of Oz Tag. We aren’t a good team, and I don’t expect to win many, if any games, but I do expect that everyone pull their weight. To be a team player.

This girl, who I barely know, lost my respect this week. I find it abhorrent that she would do this to two strangers, let alone to family and friends who make up the rest of our team.

We ended up winning the game, and I even scored my first try. But the win was soured by he fact that she did not play. I wanted to say something, but it wasn’t my place. I am trying to teach myself to keep my nose out of things, and this is one of those things. But it is eating me up inside knowing that I should have said something. Her temper tantrum did not affect her ability to play. She cut her nose off to spite her face. I am glad that we won, and that she can have no glory in that. It will probably be our only win for the whole season.

There are team players and then there are freeloaders, people who ride on the coat tails of others to get them places. I can’t stand freeloaders, they are a burden on the system, on any system. Which are you?

Argh, such a ranty blog, so rant over.
Always & Forever
Mrs T. Xxx

Back on my A-Game

It has been a week and a half since I last blogged. The reason is because I was scared.

Last week I started my new job, and on my second day I was sick. I told everyone at work I had bad Chinese, but I knew it was because I had a panic attack half way through the night before. I am noticing that they are taking me longer and longer to recover from. I wasn’t ‘well’ again until Friday.

I ended up being sent home early on Tuesday, I made it the whole day with a mix of diazepam and buscopam on the Wednesday, and I stayed home on the Thursday. Not a good showing for my first week.

I wanted to blog over the weekend, but I just wasn’t feeling up to it. Just the thought of it started my heart racing and not in a good way. So I held off. I tried again on Tuesday, but was still a bit iffy. So here we are Friday night, and I feel perfect writing this post. Not even a twinge.

So, on that note, my second week of work has been going much better! I am really loving my job. It is so much more than I thought it was going to be. I get to use a wide range of my skills, UX Design, BA, QA, Project Management. I can really see myself making a real difference, making systems for employees and customers, that will actually be used, rather than tools that are left to fall off the edge of the world.

I am also knee deep in internal politics now. Turns out, the manager of the IT department is also the son of the general manager. He also has zero qualification, except for the fact that he has done the IT for the business since he was 12. This I am finding it hard to deal with. He is a really nice guy, but I am just finding that he doesn’t really appear to know what he is doing. Oh, on the face of it, he seems to be all over everything, but as soo and you start asking deeper questions about a hundred thousand dollar project he wants to start, he just can’t answer the questions without getting defensive.

My manager is a perfectionist and would run the whole. Business if she could (she’s the marketing senior), and if she thinks your idea or approach is stupid or bad, then it will not be given the go ahead. She loves to be in control.

But overall it is a good place. They have some really grand plans coming up in the next few months and I am super excited to be a part of them. I am in love with my job, and it has been a very long time since I felt like this. So happy that I am back on my a-game.

I am baby sitting my niece tomorrow, as my sister-in-law is struggling a little. Not sure how that will go, as she and her don’t get along very well, but she is family and I am not very good at sitting on my hands while a loved one struggles. But hopefully the bubs will be super cute and give me inspiration for tomorrow’s post!

Always & Forever
Mrs T xx

Relief Attack

Last night, at 2am, I woke up feeling a bit uneasy. At first I thought I was feeling sick from the Chinese, but I quickly realised that it was worse than that. It was a panic attack.

I felt my left arm go tingly and then my right, and then a wave of panic rolled up my back and over my head. I could feel it gripping my brain. It’s cold fingers just biting in to me. It is the worst feeling in the world.

I have previously seen a therapist to help me figure out what my issues are, so that I can prep myself to deal. And in the cases where one just sneaks up on me, I have techniques I can try to help over come the attack.

So, at first I stayed in bed, admittedly curled up in the foetal position, and started my favourite technique. They are all variations of the same thing, ways to slow my breathing down, to stop me from hyperventilating, thus in turn stopping adrenaline pumping through my body, lowering my level of panic, and voila! Well thats how it is supposed to work. My favourite technique is the 1,2,3,4 – basically you take short sharp breaths in, 1, 2, 3, 4, hold the last one for a fraction longer, and then let it out in short sharp breaths 1, 2, 3, 4.

After a few minutes of this, it didn’t appear to be working. So I moved on to the next one, which is essentially breathing in and out, into a paper bag. But I don’t just carry paper bags around, my therapist said that I can cup my hands around my mouth and it will accomplish the same thing. The point to this one is that when you hyperventilate, you end up with too much oxygen in your system. By cupping your hands and “breathing back in your own air” you are increasing your carbon dioxide levels, lowering your ability to want/need to hyperventilate, again reducing adrenaline, and thus the panic.

This was starting to work, but then everything escalated and I ended up running to the bathroom to throw up. At this stage hubby knew something was up (I normally tell him if something is wrong straight away, because the very BEST way for me to deal is to talk it out and come up with solutions), he came and saw me in the bathroom, and without even a word, went and got me my ice pack, wrapped in a towel, a glass of water and a wet face clothe and then sat with me, not touching me because he knows I already feel way to hot, and just gave me his support. I love this man. He is the best I could have asked for.

We eventually went back to bed, I barely slept, cuddling my ice pack and holding his hand. I was coming up with ways to call in sick, but the entire time I knew it wasn’t possible. Yesterday was my first day! But this is what it does to do, it makes you too scared to move, to go forward. Yesterday was amazing. I really can see myself staying there for years! The people are fantastic and they are all passionate about what they do. And yet, I had a sneaky panic attack creep up on me while I was sleeping.

I think it was a “relief” attack, rather than panic. The whole process of getting the job was only about 5 weeks, but I wanted it so desperately, that I just lived semi nervous all day. Now that the first day was over, I had some anxiety that needed release. Because I am choosing to think of this as a relief attack, I am going about my day as normal (except for this post, I normally write at night), I got up, went for my walk gave my pets their morning treat, showered, dressed and now I am writing this.

I needed to get this out of me. And I needed to share it. I honestly believe in relief attacks. I had one during the reception of my wedding, all that planning, for over a year, the colours, the designs, the decorations. Everything was perfect! Yet, half way through I had my head in a bin out by the resort pool – not lady like. But it went away and then I was all good, and I had the time of my life. Relief attacks, they ARE a thing!

Always & Forever
Mrs T xx